Another review, my lovelies. This month’s book club book, a blaze of the disturbing and the dysfunctional – The Girl on the Train!
If I’ve been evasive, vague or it’s seemed like I’m avoiding you over the last month or so, it’s because I did not want to pre-empt, jinx, or otherwise nix this. Anyways, now it’s confirmed, so:
Time’s Fool, my debut novel, has been taken on by the subscription publisher Unbound and is live on their site… right now. Do go and check it out. Like, right now, before bothering with the rest of this post. It’s AMAZING. You can read the first chapter and there’s a video and everything! (We shot it in the undercroft of Dragon Hall in Norwich, and you can guess how hard I fangirled at that.)
What does this mean? What does any of this mean?
So, the Unbound website holds all the details, really, but because I like you, I’ll run through them a bit here. Basically, over the next couple of months, I’m going to be running a crowd-funder to raise the costs of the launching the book. Everyone who pledges will get their name in the back of the book, and – of course – my eternal gratitude. If you pledge £20 or above, you also get a limited edition hardback which is only available for backers. There are also loads of other goodies on the site, too, including the script to one of my infamous Murder Mystery Parties.
What this does is put the success of Time’s Fool directly into your hands.
When it’s fully funded, then it goes in to production, turns up in bookshops, and you get your pledge rewards, your book, and your name in the back saying that you are one of the people who made this happen.
Go on. Eternal gratitude.
And when I say eternal, we’re talking vampires, here.
Asking questions about vampires, love, morality and desire is something I’ve been doing for years – debating on Twitter, ranting on my blog, and gnawing off the ear of anyone damn fool enough to get me on the subject.
Time’s Fool goes there. It is my homage to Dracula, my lovesong to all my idols of Gothic grandeur, and my awkward little question at the end of their talks. “Yes,” it says, “but…”
In tone, it’s going to be a bit less lyrical than Scars on Sound and the pace is a lot snappier. It’s a crossover novel, capital Gothic, lowercase horror, and a bit of Literary thrown into the mix. If you’ve ever enjoyed one of my takes on something, laughed at my dark silliness, or thought I was saying something especially righteous, then there’s a good chance you’re going to love this one.
To everyone who’s helped me along the way with this – YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE – if you’ve not already had them, you’ll probably be getting gushing emails and embarrassed phone calls about this.
And thinly veiled requests for money. This is a crowdfunder, after all.
Happy birthday to me! Celebrate by reading my review of The Gracekeepers, a beautiful, queer novel that doesn’t quite fulfil its own promise.
I turn my evil, eagle eyes on to one of my favourite ballads, Willie o’ the Winsbury to talk gender bending, fornication and Tom Hiddleston. What’s not to love?
This week, I review an entire series. When Alys met Katniss…
So, I’m getting some glorious spam on this site. Hopefully filtering it all away from your delicate eyes, oh best beloved readers. This week has been ludicrously busy on a number of fronts (had a boiler fitted on Tuesday, so we have hot water now! Yay!) and there is some stuff pootling away in the background – steel yourselves for announcements – so I’ve fallen a bit behind on this side of things.
Aforementioned busy-ness has also been a total joy when it comes to nailing the coffin shut on the complete first draft of the current WIP (affectionately called ‘the behemoth in three volumes’) which I really wanted to get done before turning my serious attention to Scars on Sound in June. So nearly there now with WIP, though. A good, whisky fuelled all nighter will probably finish it off. On a similar front Feedback from my first readers on volume 1 of said behemoth came in last night and – aside from a few continuity glitches and the odd dud scene – it looks like I’m in a really good place for revisions and editing when all this marketing stuff eases off a bit.
As to Scars on Sound, I’ve been putting together a flyer for distribution at Leominster festival – at which I performed last year in my storytelling hat. Always fun to do before you have a concrete release date, but we’ll cope somehow. *laughs nervously*
Anyway, there should be review up on Friday, and until then, enjoy the sunshiiine.
My review of Judy Grahn’s Blood, Bread and Roses is up – for those of you who aren’t entirely freaked out by the idea of menstruation.
I was angry with my friend;
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe:
I told it not, my wrath did grow.
William Blake, A Poison Tree
Encountering that poem as a child, it struck a chord deep inside me. It was perhaps the first time I had seen written the idea that anger, venom, vengeance, were things that grew in the darkness, in silence. It was the first time I’d encountered the idea that to speak a thing was to kill it, that one could cultivate a grievance as surely as any plant.
Darkness, unknowing, is a pre-requisite for growth. We bury things deep down to give them the quiet and unknowing in which to change, to develop. Seeds are put in to the earth, and only there they can sprout and emerge – at last – as frail green shoots. To pry before then is to court disaster, to show one’s own lack of comprehension. Speaking of ideas, Van Helsing says,
You do not find the good husbandman dig up his planted corn to see if he grows; that is for children who play at husbandry, and not for those who take it as the work of their life. See you now, friend John? I have sown my corn, and nature has her work to do in making it sprout;
Humans grow in darkness, too. The private space of the womb – before modern medical intervention – was a place of unknowing where a person came together unseen, before they were ready to emerge in to the light. The link between the transformations of pregnancy and death are well established. Cultures around the world have buried bodies in the foetal position, as though hoping that they would emerge from the womb of the earth, reborn; as though the darkness might do its work, and undo the seed-like inertia of death.
But what emerges from this place? What comes from the earth – from death? T.S. Eliot, in the aftermath of the First World War, wrote the oft quoted,
April is the cruellest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.
We watch over graves, as though hoping for a shoot of our loved ones’ resurrections – but things laid in the earth should, perhaps, remain there. In a Europe seeded with the slaughter of mechanised warfare, the re-birth of the gassed, broken, traumatised bodies of soldiers could bring nothing but pain. Better, perhaps, to forget.
The myth of the vampire answers this fear directly. In Dracula, Lucy is buried and – in the darkness – is transformed. Callous, murderous and capable only of destroying those who had adored her in life, she is more peaceful dead. The Count himself lays himself in the earth to grow young. Prying, Jonathon Harker, interrupts this, leaving a livid mark across Dracula’s forehead, a mark which identifies him, which helps them destroy him, and contain this re-emergence from the grave.
Yet, all the same, mixing memory with desire, we ache for this rebirth, pursuing it through religion, metaphor, ritual. This is not the ancient past: recent developments in eco-burials place the deceased in the foetal position, wrap them in an ‘egg’ and bury them with the seeds of a tree. As the years pass, and the mourners watch, the dead gives new life to a plant, making a sacred forest, a living monument, a rebirth. Years ago, trying to design my own Tarot deck, I drew the Death card as a woman, bare breasted, heavily pregnant, kneeling in prayer by a tree. Below the ground, unseen to her, a toddler lay in the foetal position, the roots wrapped around their curled form.
Transformation, growth, rebirth.
It is only human to want to look into those dark places, to rob them of both their terror and their power. Ultrasound scans peer into the privacy of the womb, letting a parent see exactly what grows within them. PET scans try to capture the secret movement of thoughts. We watch everything, hungry to see what will emerge. The dark frightens us. We would rob it of terror.
But as Blake knew, there are other forms of darkness. People only know of us what we chose, what we are able, to disclose. While speaking our wrath might end it, not all grievances can be so aired. Within so many of us, there are poison trees growing – watered with tears, sunned by “soft, deceitful wiles”.
What grows in the darkness of our mind? What will emerge at the end of long nights of brooding?
When picking a cover image for Scars on Sound , Ruth and I settled on one from a sequence we refer to as ‘the babyseed’, showing something changing, growing, malevolent and unwatched. After all, that is the terror of the Gothic. It is secrets that are hidden, arts concealed. It is repressed desires and the madwoman in the attic. It is the home of things that pushed down, pushed away.
And those things we push away are so so often, are gendered, so often profiled by race, by class, by sexuality. So often the Gothic shows people who lack temporal power wielding some dread and supernatural might, screaming out against the injustices done to them. Sometimes, they are merely warning, a preface to the more dangerous spirits of those who wronged them. Sometimes, though, they enact their own vengeance, seizing some freedom they cannot have by ordinary means.
Somewhere, in the darkness, seeds are growing. We can only wonder what their fruits might be.